Update few days after cycle! Since being home it's been horrendous to be honest, my j pouch stopped working basically so pains unreal. Had to have a catheter up my back passage to check for a blockage but not much there because of the pouch not working, so now on morphine, laxatives, buscopan anti sickness, pretty much everything. My heart palpitations have come back, tinnitus coming back too. I've been horrible to Hannah too shouting at her to kill me and let me die because I don't have anything left and I am done. Literally broke down on my mum like never before last night and told her and my Dad I am done too. We were at Leeds yesterday hospital yesterday and they're going to scan me after the next cycle to see if it's worth carrying on with treatment or not. Obviously this isn't a positive post, but i feel like the blog has to be honest too. If you can take anything from this please make the most of life when you can and smile when you can!
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